Wednesday 4 November 2015

Don't seek approval

I recently watched a talk on the ‘Stanford Graduate School of Business’ YouTube channel and Oprah Winfrey was being interviewed. One of the things that struck me the most about was a statement she once said:

“I've talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 people had one thing in common: They all wanted validation… I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire”

This got me thinking, why do we seek validation from others so much? In this society we’re almost conditioned to make our decisions based on the approval of another human being. We give other humans the power to belittle our own judgements, and we live our lives trying to be liked by people. The craving of wanting to feel important and have positive reinforcement from others seems to almost be a basic instinct in us. Therefore we are ruining our inner selves, we change the way we dress, talk, think just to please our families, friends, partners, and social communities, we have to ask ourselves is this worth it? Personally I've accepted the person I am, I can live without drinking, I don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, I don’t even enjoying clubbing that much and yet the typical stereotype for people my age is to engage in all of those activities. In the past I've been called “boring” or that I'm “living the life of a 30 year old”, but to me I'm happy, I don’t seek to please other people by making myself miserable, I'm comfortable enough in myself to enjoy my own company and to get on with life how I want to live it.
Who are you? Are you the person you want to be or the person you’re being told to be? It may sound cliché but you do only live once, find your voice it may take time but that’s the voice that truly knows who you are. Truth is not everyone actually cares what you do and the people who belittle what you believe in or knock down your confidence are the people who are toxic in your life and you don’t need that around you. As long as what you’re doing isn't harming anyone else and is ethical, be you! Live your life how to want to and don’t change your opinions based someone else’s opinion.


“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.”

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